Another Dumb Survey

Try to be as honest as possible.

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. last beverage: Screwdriver

2. last phone call: Luke

3. last text message: My Sunlight

4. last song you listened to: Currently Playing: Roll to Me by Del Amitri

5. last time you cried: September?

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated someone: Yes

7. been cheated on: still not sure about this one

8. kissed someone & regretted it: Oh definitely

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: isn't everyone in high school?

11. been drunk and threw up: Yes

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Purple

13. Teal

14. Green

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU-(2011):

15. Made a new friend?: Sure have

16. Fallen out of love?: YEP

17. Laughed until you cried?: Almost every day of my life

18. Met someone who changed you?: individuals and groups of people & i love every single one of them

19. Found out who your true friends were?: i've always known..... ?

20. Found out someone was talking about you?: can't remember if I have

21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend’s list ?: Is this a serious question?

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life: All...

24. Do you have any pets: not anymore :(

26. What did you do for your last birthday: Had a party, went to the bars, enjoyed it with my beautiful, wonderful friends

27. What time did you wake up today: 1130 & it was glorious

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: homework/ an application

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: SUMMER. <-- stole from Luke

30. Last time you saw your Mother: Easter, I think?

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: not too much, maybe I would grow some balls

32. What are you listening to right now: The Middle, Jimmy Eat World

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes

34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: right this moment? sexual frustration

35. Most visited webpage: Facebook, Gmail

37. Nicknames: G, Baby Bird, Gilly

38. Relationship Status: single - loving it

39. Zodiac Sign: libra / scorpio - cusp

40. He or She: she

41. Elementary? Ursuline

42. Middle School? Ursuline

43. High School? Brandywine

44. Hair Color? auburn

45. Long or short? medium

46. Height? 5'

47. Do you have a crush on someone? big ole crush

48. What do you like about yourself? my passion, my laugh, my style, my sense of humor... i could go on hahaha

49. Piercings? earlobes... so exotic - used to have nose but now it's gone

50. Tattoos? none so far

51. Righty or lefty? right handed, left footed

52. First surgery: got a mole removed

53. First piercing: earlobe

54. First best friend: Carley, my dear cousin

55. First sport you joined: Gymnastics

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating: pretzels

60. Drinking: Screwdriver

61. I’m about to: forget the computer & hang out with friends

62. Listening to: You Were Meant for Me, Jewel

63. Waiting for: graduation, my future to fall in my lap

64. Want kids? Not Sure

65. Want to get married? Not Sure... I think so, I mean... I want to have a wedding

66. Career? Oh GOD who knows

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes?: eyes

68. Hugs or kisses: kisses

69. Shorter or taller: taller

70. Older or Younger: older

71. Romantic or spontaneous: Bof'em

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: I wouldn't complain about either... arms i think?

73. Sensitive or loud: bof'em ... i don't think these are opposites?

74. Hook-up or relationship: right now... hook up (but consistently)

75. Trouble maker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger: of course not…. i would never….

77. Drank hard liquor: who? me?

78. Lost glasses/contacts : more times than I can count

79. Sex on first date : nope!

80. Broken someone’s heart : Yes.

81. Had your own heart broken : A little bit. Nothing is irreparable

83. Turned someone down : for what? in general? yes.

84. Cried when someone died : yes.

85. Fallen for a friend : story of my life.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself : yes.

87. Miracles : some days, less days now than before

88. Love at first sight: not really... at all, actually. LUST at first sight

89. Heaven : have to - gets me through the days

90. Santa Claus: my dad is Santa.... so yes

91. Kiss on the first night: yes....

92. Angels : sure enough do... got a couple watchin' over me

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

93. Had more than one bf/gf? at the same time? no. in general? yes

94. Is there one person you want to be with right now? nope, pretty much with my faves right now

95. Did you sing today? sure did

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? I would probably go back to like the 20s ... haha

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? probably a day when I was studying abroad. I dunno I've had a pretty good year... I would relive it all if I could

99. Are you afraid of falling in love? nope. i would welcome it

100. Posting this as 100 truths? ??????

It's 5 am and Thanks to the Dunkin Donuts Large Iced Coffee I Inhaled 6 Hours Ago, I'm Not Tired

Love my good friend Patrice over at socially awkwords for making me do this.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Approximately 65. I'm serious.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying. Absolutely. I just wish I could put that belief into practice... story for another post
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Because they're often necessary to achieve the truly fabulous things in life. Also because we are too afraid to see what happens if we fail to do them. <-- this was Patrice's answer, which I agree with. But I also think that we like things that we don't do precisely because we haven't done them yet. A lot of things lose their appeal once you try them
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? Almost definitely. But I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. To me, having high standards and lofty goals is half the battle of motivating myself to reach them. It's so easy to settle.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Inequality I think. But I'm not sure.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Something extremely creative that requires little to no technical skills
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? As of right now, I'm not doing much of anything. I'll keep you updated on this one, though.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would probably be a lot less afraid to fail and do more trying. I would spend a significantly smaller portion of my life thinking and a significantly greater part of my life doing things.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Almost none of it, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Both. All the time. <-- completely agree with P here. I can't get away from either one, and sometimes it's extremely detrimental to my sanity.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? Probably lose a little bit of respect for them. I can't really imagine that people I respect and admire wouldn't like my friends. But I guess if that did happen, I would point out the fact that I was friends with the person and see how they reacted. If necessary, I would remove myself from the situation. I don't think it would come to that. This reminds me that I need to stop talking about people...
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Listen to my parents. Yours might be dumb, but mine are always right.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Probably. A lot of laws don't make sense anyway.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Almost every day.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Write. And think.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because I'm really strange and also because people don't think of things the way I do...
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? So many things
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yes. Parts of the past and a lot of senseless insecurities
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I would move almost anywhere because I've lived in the same place my entire life. The States list includes but is not limited to: North Carolina, Maine, California, Washington, Arizona, Vermont, and Connecticut
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Almost never and no, but I kinda wish I did.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? I was thinking about this very thing this weekend! Jury's still out but tonight I'm leaning toward worried (yet pro-active) genius
22. Why are you, you? I dunno but I'm pretty thankful for it!
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Yes, and if I haven't been, I've made it right
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with a good friend who lives right there. I've had both happen, and the former may be more difficult, but the latter is just plain sad. <--samesies
25. What are you most grateful for? My family. And my education.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Whoa.. last question was so easy and this one is soooo hard.
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? For some people who have unwavering faith... not for me
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? I don't really know what my greatest fear is
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? Yes and yes, unfortunately
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? I had a pretty awesome childhood. I think running through the sprinklers with my cousins. We could not stop laughing.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? On my study abroad (Egypt, Ethiopia, Jordan, Thailand, & India) And also last week when I was swinging at the playground with my eyes closed and listening to music
32. If not now, then when? When the time is right
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Like Patrice, I do not know what to make of this question
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Not really. Good, pleasant experience, yes. Best conversation? No
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? I think because with love comes passion and sometimes people conflate passion with anger
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? No
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Depends on if my job was satisfying and/or my dream job
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work I enjoy doing because when you do what you love, that also means less work
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Pretty much. Actually about 800 times before.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? If you've ever met me you know that when I strongly believe in something, there's a lot more than a soft glow.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? Have a party? I can think of probably 10 people outside of my extremely large family.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Nah. Life can have richer experiences than beauty or fame if you do enough with the time you have. <-- Patrice said it better than I could have.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Reflection.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? If you know what's right why are you calculating risks and rewards?
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? I'm not really afraid to make mistakes. But I guess because of unforeseeable consequences?
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Dance more. Among other things.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? I don't know that I've ever done this... Maybe that one time I woke myself up snoring?
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? My family. Yes. Learning. Yes. Reading. Hell Yes.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that? Yesterday, no. Both days before, yes.
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? I'm making them for myself, and taking the opinions of those I trust into careful consideration.

Quarter Life Crisis

It has come to my attention that in 4 years I will be 25 years old. This wouldn't be so alarming if it didn't also recently occur to me that the last 4 years of my life have gone by in the blink of an eye.

Call me nostalgic, call it whatever you want. I call it my Quarter Life Crisis. It has prompted me to make one of those "25 before 25" lists. These are some goals which, unlike the 4 simple goals outlined late last year, I am absolutely determined to accomplish.

1. Apply to graduate school (which also means figuring out a possible career path... again)
2. Apply to Teach for America, or AmeriCorps, or the Peace Corps
3. Visit another foreign country
4. Go to the Mummer's Parade
5. Go to NYC in the Springtime
6. Live somewhere outside of Delaware
7. Read a whole book in one day
8. Donate to NPR or WHYY
9. Have an apartment with a big comfy couch and a yellow kitchen
10. Get a job that I love and that matters
11. Learn how to crochet
12. Ask out a boy I like
13. Go to a music festival
14. Volunteer in another country
15. Go on an epic roadtrip
16. Use my crepe-maker
17. Sleep under the stars
18. Host a swanky dinner party
19. Kick my chocolate addiction
20. Make some of my own clothes
21. Be a more ethically responsible consumer
22. Keep in touch with my college friends
23. Appreciate every day
24. Fall in love
25. Make a 30 before 30 list

Why I Don't Like Record Stores

I never have. I know that I should have a particular reason, but until recently I didn't. All I knew was that I have never felt quite comfortable perusing around the stacks. I never felt like the staff made me uncomfortable (usually it's quite the opposite). It was never the other consumers, although some of them -whom I presume are "regulars" - have quite a habit of throwing sneering glances across the room.



It came to me today. The reason that I don't like record stores is because they all organize their music in the same way - by genre. This is a very intuitive way to organize such a vast collection, and I don't have any suggestions for alternative methods, but it's always bothered me because I don't know exactly how to classify the kind of music I like. Probably because there are many influences from different genres in the music that I tend to find appealing (and most current music). In any case, I usually leave a record store completely unsatisfied, and even more befuddled about genres than I had been before I went in the place.



So let me save you a trip to the record store if you share my qualms. These are some of my favorite songs from a bunch of artists (most of which I recently discovered). No genres. No classifications. No explanations. Just songs =)

The only thing I'll say about this list is that none of the songs are particularly happy. In fact, most of them are languid and some of them are sad.

1. Mynabirds - What we Lose in the Fire


2. Horse Feathers - Belly of June


3. Mumford & Sons - White Blank Page (among so many others)


4. Villagers - Becoming a Jackal


5. Villagers - Twenty Seven Strangers


6. Sarah Jaffe - Before You Go


7. Dave Matthews Band - Funny the Way it Is


8. Griffin House -


9. Mayer Hawthorne - Maybe So, Maybe No


10. The Unthanks - Here's the Tender Coming

Autumn Changes

School is back in session! I can't wait to get back into a real routine! School always brings out the hyper-organized, almost anal part of my personality. And right now, I'm having a ton of fun organizing things and getting my life and surroundings into something that resembles a structure. Look at all these lists I started keeping! (I LOVE lists.) These don't even include my to do list in my planner (which is by far the lengthiest).

I don't know if you can tell, but I'm wearing my hair parted in the middle today. This is a huge change for me. I don't think I've done that since I was 8. I probably won't be doing it often, but it's funny how something so small can make a person feel so different!

I knew it wouldn't take long, but I am forced to change my 4 Simple Goals for autumn. My camera was stolen from me by my mother, and by stolen I do mean I willingly let her borrow it for a while. And my Holga, which I just bought, already seems to be in disrepair. (Matt has vowed to help me fix it.) Also, when I said that I would stretch every morning, I didn't fully take into account that I have work at 8 in the morning twice per week. So I think that stretching any time throughout the day will suffice.

In place of taking a picture everyday (at least until I get my camera back) I hereby vow to do something crafty every weekend. I have a whole list of crafts that I've been dying to try out & I haven't and I won't unless I make time for it! So that's that.

I've been doing really well with my Sunday to-do list (except for this past sunday because I had a very impromptu, very long trip to see my dad and my list usually takes the whole day to complete), and I've also listened to a ton of new music that I plan to share in a separate post someday soon.

Also, I'm thinking about getting myself a time-slot on the student radio station here at school. I wouldn't be on the FM channel, but on the online streaming channel - a little less pressure. I need a good overall concept for my show, and perhaps a co-host. But I think that I'll do a different musical concept every week. This plan is contingent upon a lot of things, especially my clearing time in the good old schedule. But I think it will be a worthwhile thing to do, and it will make me happy.

There are so many things I am looking forward to this autumn. Pumpkin spice lattes and leaves changing colors, a challenging (but hopefully rewarding) semester, turning 21, the delivery of a very special little blessing, figuring out life plans and taking the first real steps to making my dreams come true. It is going to be such a magical time, and I couldn't be more thrilled that it's all happening so soon!

Another check off the ol' to-do list

4 Simple Goals - Week 1

't was a failure I'm afraid.

I took a picture almost every day. Although, I wasn't on campus, so I couldn't take the daily picture of my favorite spot. So that's okay.

I stretched no days and pressed snooze every day. That's not good. But I was on vacation, which counts for something... right?

I listened to almost no music at all, but when I did, they were new songs. So that's good.

I'm still in the middle of my sunday ritual, which includes blogging, & it promises to be a huge success. The only thing I won't be able to do is call my Nan & Pop because it's already 9pm. When did that happen?

But I will be calling them tomorrow because I plan to visit them on Tuesday.

Sorry that this post is so memo-like. I'm in a very "matter-of-fact" mood, as it were. I've been highly productive and responsible today, mostly in preparation for my senior year. It starts in one week and two days. And I take the GRE in one week and one day. Which is frightening, but also relieving. But mostly terrifying. eep!

off to switch over my laundry and make dinner!

4 Simple Goals

We interrupt this blog's regular programming (if I can even call it that) to bring you a challenge for the ages... or at least the season.

One of my favorite bloggers, Elsie Flannigan (abeautifulmess.typepad.com), and some of her loyal readers are doing a 4 Simple Goals Challenge this autumn, and I think I'm going to join them!

Actually, This post is my promising to myself that I will, and you all are my witnesses.

The plan is to complete each of 4 Simple goals every day before the new year with the overall goal to enrich your life little by little. More details here if you're interested: http://abeautifulmess.typepad.com/my_weblog/2010/08/4-simple-goals-before-2011.html

Instead of choosing to reward myself for completing the goals, I think I'll accept the life-enrichment as my reward.

Here they are:

1. stretch first thing every morning! This one will be the hardest for me to complete I think. First, because it means no snooze button & second because my head is so cloudy in the morning that I expect to find it hard to remember until I make it a habit. BUT if I can manage it, I think it will be a nice & organic way to start the day off and regain my fleeting limberness.
2. listen to a new song every day. I recently noticed how many songs in my iTunes library have gone unlistened, and that upsets me. So one song at a time, I'll be attempting to correct this!
3. take at least one picture every day. I want to remember my senior year of college for all of the splendor I know it will include. Also, I've been meaning to document my campus when the seasons change for three years now, it's about damn time I actually do it. I think I will take a picture of my favorite spot on campus every day and then also take a picture of something that speaks to me or inspires me each day too. This is a pretty lofty goal but it's a fun one so I hope I can manage it.
4. stick to my sunday ritual list. I recently made a list of things I want to do each week instead of whenever I think of it or when I really can't avoid it ( menial things like laundry, syncing my iPod, managing finances, etc.). I decided that Sunday would be the best day of the week for this for a couple of reasons. First, I'm busy every day during the school/work week & Saturday is Gill-time. Second, making Sunday "dreaded menial task day" will make Mondays much more enjoyable, at least in theory...

Expect updates each week about how I'm doing with my goals!

Let me know if you decide to join our Simple crusade.

Alright, back to my real regular programming, which as of late has consisted of studying non-stop for the GRE. Even at the beach. Which is where I am now. Except that I'm actually at my favorite coffee shop in Dewey (BookSandcoffee) and not on the beach. grumble.

I know it will all pay off though!