yearning to fly

Another Dumb Survey

2011-05-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

Try to be as honest as possible.

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. last beverage: Screwdriver

2. last phone call: Luke

3. last text message: My Sunlight

4. last song you listened to: Currently Playing: Roll to Me by Del Amitri

5. last time you cried: September?

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated someone: Yes

7. been cheated on: still not sure about this one

8. kissed someone & regretted it: Oh definitely

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: isn't everyone in high school?

11. been drunk and threw up: Yes

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Purple

13. Teal

14. Green

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU-(2011):

15. Made a new friend?: Sure have

16. Fallen out of love?: YEP

17. Laughed until you cried?: Almost every day of my life

18. Met someone who changed you?: individuals and groups of people & i love every single one of them

19. Found out who your true friends were?: i've always known..... ?

20. Found out someone was talking about you?: can't remember if I have

21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend’s list ?: Is this a serious question?

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life: All...

24. Do you have any pets: not anymore :(

26. What did you do for your last birthday: Had a party, went to the bars, enjoyed it with my beautiful, wonderful friends

27. What time did you wake up today: 1130 & it was glorious

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: homework/ an application

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: SUMMER. <-- stole from Luke

30. Last time you saw your Mother: Easter, I think?

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: not too much, maybe I would grow some balls

32. What are you listening to right now: The Middle, Jimmy Eat World

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes

34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: right this moment? sexual frustration

35. Most visited webpage: Facebook, Gmail

37. Nicknames: G, Baby Bird, Gilly

38. Relationship Status: single - loving it

39. Zodiac Sign: libra / scorpio - cusp

40. He or She: she

41. Elementary? Ursuline

42. Middle School? Ursuline

43. High School? Brandywine

44. Hair Color? auburn

45. Long or short? medium

46. Height? 5'

47. Do you have a crush on someone? big ole crush

48. What do you like about yourself? my passion, my laugh, my style, my sense of humor... i could go on hahaha

49. Piercings? earlobes... so exotic - used to have nose but now it's gone

50. Tattoos? none so far

51. Righty or lefty? right handed, left footed

52. First surgery: got a mole removed

53. First piercing: earlobe

54. First best friend: Carley, my dear cousin

55. First sport you joined: Gymnastics

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating: pretzels

60. Drinking: Screwdriver

61. I’m about to: forget the computer & hang out with friends

62. Listening to: You Were Meant for Me, Jewel

63. Waiting for: graduation, my future to fall in my lap

64. Want kids? Not Sure

65. Want to get married? Not Sure... I think so, I mean... I want to have a wedding

66. Career? Oh GOD who knows

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes?: eyes

68. Hugs or kisses: kisses

69. Shorter or taller: taller

70. Older or Younger: older

71. Romantic or spontaneous: Bof'em

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: I wouldn't complain about either... arms i think?

73. Sensitive or loud: bof'em ... i don't think these are opposites?

74. Hook-up or relationship: right now... hook up (but consistently)

75. Trouble maker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger: of course not…. i would never….

77. Drank hard liquor: who? me?

78. Lost glasses/contacts : more times than I can count

79. Sex on first date : nope!

80. Broken someone’s heart : Yes.

81. Had your own heart broken : A little bit. Nothing is irreparable

83. Turned someone down : for what? in general? yes.

84. Cried when someone died : yes.

85. Fallen for a friend : story of my life.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself : yes.

87. Miracles : some days, less days now than before

88. Love at first sight: not really... at all, actually. LUST at first sight

89. Heaven : have to - gets me through the days

90. Santa Claus: my dad is Santa.... so yes

91. Kiss on the first night: yes....

92. Angels : sure enough do... got a couple watchin' over me

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

93. Had more than one bf/gf? at the same time? no. in general? yes

94. Is there one person you want to be with right now? nope, pretty much with my faves right now

95. Did you sing today? sure did

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? I would probably go back to like the 20s ... haha

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? probably a day when I was studying abroad. I dunno I've had a pretty good year... I would relive it all if I could

99. Are you afraid of falling in love? nope. i would welcome it

100. Posting this as 100 truths? ??????

It's 5 am and Thanks to the Dunkin Donuts Large Iced Coffee I Inhaled 6 Hours Ago, I'm Not Tired

2011-05-04T01:12:00.000-07:00

Love my good friend Patrice over at socially awkwords for making me do this.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Approximately 65. I'm serious.
Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying. Absolutely. I just wish I could put that belief into practice... story for another post
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Because they're often necessary to achieve the truly fabulous things in life. Also because we are too afraid to see what happens if we fail to do them. <-- this was Patrice's answer, which I agree with. But I also think that we like things that we don't do precisely because we haven't done them yet. A lot of things lose their appeal once you try them
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? Almost definitely. But I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. To me, having high standards and lofty goals is half the battle of motivating myself to reach them. It's so easy to settle.
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Inequality I think. But I'm not sure.
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Something extremely creative that requires little to no technical skills
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? As of right now, I'm not doing much of anything. I'll keep you updated on this one, though.
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would probably be a lot less afraid to fail and do more trying. I would spend a significantly smaller portion of my life thinking and a significantly greater part of my life doing things.
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Almost none of it, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Both. All the time. <-- completely agree with P here. I can't get away from either one, and sometimes it's extremely detrimental to my sanity.
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? Probably lose a little bit of respect for them. I can't really imagine that people I respect and admire wouldn't like my friends. But I guess if that did happen, I would point out the fact that I was friends with the person and see how they reacted. If necessary, I would remove myself from the situation. I don't think it would come to that. This reminds me that I need to stop talking about people...
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Listen to my parents. Yours might be dumb, but mine are always right.
Would you break the law to save a loved one? Probably. A lot of laws don't make sense anyway.
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Almost every day.
What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Write. And think.
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because I'm really strange and also because people don't think of things the way I do...
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? So many things
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yes. Parts of the past and a lot of senseless insecurities
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I would move almost anywhere because I've lived in the same place my entire life. The States list includes but is not limited to: North Carolina, Maine, California, Washington, Arizona, Vermont, and Connecticut
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Almost never and no, but I kinda wish I did.
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? I was thinking about this very thing this weekend! Jury's still out but tonight I'm leaning toward worried (yet pro-active) genius
Why are you, you? I dunno but I'm pretty thankful for it!
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Yes, and if I haven't been, I've made it right
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with a good friend who lives right there. I've had both happen, and the former may be more difficult, but the latter is just plain sad. <--samesies
What are you most grateful for? My family. And my education.
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Whoa.. last question was so easy and this one is soooo hard.
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? For some people who have unwavering faith... not for me
Has your greatest fear ever come true? I don't really know what my greatest fear is
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? Yes and yes, unfortunately
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? I had a pretty awesome childhood. I think running through the sprinklers with my cousins. We could not stop laughing.
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? On my study abroad (Egypt, Ethiopia, Jordan, Thailand, & India) And also last week when I was swinging at the playground with my eyes closed and listening to music
If not now, then when? When the time is right
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Like Patrice, I do not know what to make of this question
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Not really. Good, pleasant experience, yes. Best conversation? No
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? I think because with love comes passion and sometimes people conflate passion with anger
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? No
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Depends on if my job was satisfying and/or my dream job
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work I enjoy doing because when you do what you love, that also means less work
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Pretty much. Actually about 800 times before.
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? If you've ever met me you know that when I strongly believe in something, there's a lot more than a soft glow.
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? Have a party? I can think of probably 10 people outside of my extremely large family.
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Nah. Life can have richer experiences than beauty or fame if you do enough with the time you have. <-- Patrice said it better than I could have.
What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Reflection.
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? If you know what's right why are you calculating risks and rewards?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? I'm not really afraid to make mistakes. But I guess because of unforeseeable consequences?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Dance more. Among other things.
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? I don't know that I've ever done this... Maybe that one time I woke myself up snoring?
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? My family. Yes. Learning. Yes. Reading. Hell Yes.
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that? Yesterday, no. Both days before, yes.
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? I'm making them for myself, and taking the opinions of those I trust into careful consideration.

Quarter Life Crisis

2011-01-15T17:55:00.000-08:00

It has come to my attention that in 4 years I will be 25 years old. This wouldn't be so alarming if it didn't also recently occur to me that the last 4 years of my life have gone by in the blink of an eye.

Call me nostalgic, call it whatever you want. I call it my Quarter Life Crisis. It has prompted me to make one of those "25 before 25" lists. These are some goals which, unlike the 4 simple goals outlined late last year, I am absolutely determined to accomplish.

Apply to graduate school (which also means figuring out a possible career path... again)
Apply to Teach for America, or AmeriCorps, or the Peace Corps
Visit another foreign country
Go to the Mummer's Parade
Go to NYC in the Springtime
Live somewhere outside of Delaware
Read a whole book in one day
Donate to NPR or WHYY
Have an apartment with a big comfy couch and a yellow kitchen
Get a job that I love and that matters
Learn how to crochet
Ask out a boy I like
Go to a music festival
Volunteer in another country
Go on an epic roadtrip
Use my crepe-maker
Sleep under the stars
Host a swanky dinner party
Kick my chocolate addiction
Make some of my own clothes
Be a more ethically responsible consumer
Keep in touch with my college friends
Appreciate every day
Fall in love
Make a 30 before 30 list

Why I Don't Like Record Stores

2010-09-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

I never have. I know that I should have a particular reason, but until recently I didn't. All I knew was that I have never felt quite comfortable perusing around the stacks. I never felt like the staff made me uncomfortable (usually it's quite the opposite). It was never the other consumers, although some of them -whom I presume are "regulars" - have quite a habit of throwing sneering glances across the room.

It came to me today. The reason that I don't like record stores is because they all organize their music in the same way - by genre. This is a very intuitive way to organize such a vast collection, and I don't have any suggestions for alternative methods, but it's always bothered me because I don't know exactly how to classify the kind of music I like. Probably because there are many influences from different genres in the music that I tend to find appealing (and most current music). In any case, I usually leave a record store completely unsatisfied, and even more befuddled about genres than I had been before I went in the place.

So let me save you a trip to the record store if you share my qualms. These are some of my favorite songs from a bunch of artists (most of which I recently discovered). No genres. No classifications. No explanations. Just songs =)

The only thing I'll say about this list is that none of the songs are particularly happy. In fact, most of them are languid and some of them are sad.

Mynabirds - What we Lose in the Fire

Horse Feathers - Belly of June

Mumford & Sons - White Blank Page (among so many others)

Villagers - Becoming a Jackal

Villagers - Twenty Seven Strangers

Sarah Jaffe - Before You Go

Dave Matthews Band - Funny the Way it Is

Griffin House -

Mayer Hawthorne - Maybe So, Maybe No

The Unthanks - Here's the Tender Coming

Autumn Changes

2010-09-01T21:02:00.000-07:00

School is back in session! I can't wait to get back into a real routine! School always brings out the hyper-organized, almost anal part of my personality. And right now, I'm having a ton of fun organizing things and getting my life and surroundings into something that resembles a structure. Look at all these lists I started keeping! (I LOVE lists.) These don't even include my to do list in my planner (which is by far the lengthiest).

I don't know if you can tell, but I'm wearing my hair parted in the middle today. This is a huge change for me. I don't think I've done that since I was 8. I probably won't be doing it often, but it's funny how something so small can make a person feel so different!

I knew it wouldn't take long, but I am forced to change my 4 Simple Goals for autumn. My camera was stolen from me by my mother, and by stolen I do mean I willingly let her borrow it for a while. And my Holga, which I just bought, already seems to be in disrepair. (Matt has vowed to help me fix it.) Also, when I said that I would stretch every morning, I didn't fully take into account that I have work at 8 in the morning twice per week. So I think that stretching any time throughout the day will suffice.

In place of taking a picture everyday (at least until I get my camera back) I hereby vow to do something crafty every weekend. I have a whole list of crafts that I've been dying to try out & I haven't and I won't unless I make time for it! So that's that.

I've been doing really well with my Sunday to-do list (except for this past sunday because I had a very impromptu, very long trip to see my dad and my list usually takes the whole day to complete), and I've also listened to a ton of new music that I plan to share in a separate post someday soon.

Also, I'm thinking about getting myself a time-slot on the student radio station here at school. I wouldn't be on the FM channel, but on the online streaming channel - a little less pressure. I need a good overall concept for my show, and perhaps a co-host. But I think that I'll do a different musical concept every week. This plan is contingent upon a lot of things, especially my clearing time in the good old schedule. But I think it will be a worthwhile thing to do, and it will make me happy.

There are so many things I am looking forward to this autumn. Pumpkin spice lattes and leaves changing colors, a challenging (but hopefully rewarding) semester, turning 21, the delivery of a very special little blessing, figuring out life plans and taking the first real steps to making my dreams come true. It is going to be such a magical time, and I couldn't be more thrilled that it's all happening so soon!

Another check off the ol' to-do list

2010-08-22T18:00:00.000-07:00

4 Simple Goals - Week 1

't was a failure I'm afraid.

I took a picture almost every day. Although, I wasn't on campus, so I couldn't take the daily picture of my favorite spot. So that's okay.

I stretched no days and pressed snooze every day. That's not good. But I was on vacation, which counts for something... right?

I listened to almost no music at all, but when I did, they were new songs. So that's good.

I'm still in the middle of my sunday ritual, which includes blogging, & it promises to be a huge success. The only thing I won't be able to do is call my Nan & Pop because it's already 9pm. When did that happen?

But I will be calling them tomorrow because I plan to visit them on Tuesday.

Sorry that this post is so memo-like. I'm in a very "matter-of-fact" mood, as it were. I've been highly productive and responsible today, mostly in preparation for my senior year. It starts in one week and two days. And I take the GRE in one week and one day. Which is frightening, but also relieving. But mostly terrifying. eep!

off to switch over my laundry and make dinner!

4 Simple Goals

2010-08-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

We interrupt this blog's regular programming (if I can even call it that) to bring you a challenge for the ages... or at least the season.

One of my favorite bloggers, Elsie Flannigan (abeautifulmess.typepad.com), and some of her loyal readers are doing a 4 Simple Goals Challenge this autumn, and I think I'm going to join them!

Actually, This post is my promising to myself that I will, and you all are my witnesses.

The plan is to complete each of 4 Simple goals every day before the new year with the overall goal to enrich your life little by little. More details here if you're interested: http://abeautifulmess.typepad.com/my_weblog/2010/08/4-simple-goals-before-2011.html

Instead of choosing to reward myself for completing the goals, I think I'll accept the life-enrichment as my reward.

Here they are:

stretch first thing every morning! This one will be the hardest for me to complete I think. First, because it means no snooze button & second because my head is so cloudy in the morning that I expect to find it hard to remember until I make it a habit. BUT if I can manage it, I think it will be a nice & organic way to start the day off and regain my fleeting limberness.
listen to a new song every day. I recently noticed how many songs in my iTunes library have gone unlistened, and that upsets me. So one song at a time, I'll be attempting to correct this!
take at least one picture every day. I want to remember my senior year of college for all of the splendor I know it will include. Also, I've been meaning to document my campus when the seasons change for three years now, it's about damn time I actually do it. I think I will take a picture of my favorite spot on campus every day and then also take a picture of something that speaks to me or inspires me each day too. This is a pretty lofty goal but it's a fun one so I hope I can manage it.
stick to my sunday ritual list. I recently made a list of things I want to do each week instead of whenever I think of it or when I really can't avoid it ( menial things like laundry, syncing my iPod, managing finances, etc.). I decided that Sunday would be the best day of the week for this for a couple of reasons. First, I'm busy every day during the school/work week & Saturday is Gill-time. Second, making Sunday "dreaded menial task day" will make Mondays much more enjoyable, at least in theory...

Expect updates each week about how I'm doing with my goals!

Let me know if you decide to join our Simple crusade.

Alright, back to my real regular programming, which as of late has consisted of studying non-stop for the GRE. Even at the beach. Which is where I am now. Except that I'm actually at my favorite coffee shop in Dewey (BookSandcoffee) and not on the beach. grumble.

I know it will all pay off though!

JORDAN!!!

2010-04-29T01:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I have a meeting at 7:30 in Wilmington and it is now 5:01am. I didn't plan on staying up all night but since I am, and since I haven't done anything productive in hours, I figured it was the perfect opportunity to update this thing..

Soooo here's JORDAN. This is the first thing I saw that let me know I was definitely, definitely in a (almost completely) Muslim, extremely conservative country.
There are lots of norms for gender roles in Jordan, as with many Arab countries. This one still really effects me though, because I thought the two genders would at least be able to pray together? That seems like the most wholesome thing a person can do, but maybe it also makes you the most vulnerable?

This was the first course of our first meal in Jordan. We thought it was the whole thing. There certainly was enough of it! There was some hummus, babaganouche (i'm spelling that sooo wrong) and so many things! It was much more delicious than this picture makes it look.

We were lucky enough to be accompanied by a native Jordanian... actually she's Saudi but she's a resident of Jordan because her family is originally from Palestine (this is all a product of the convoluted Middle Eastern conflict that we think we all know about). Anyway, she took us to her grandparent's house. They were the most beautiful, welcoming, hospitable people I have ever met. Her grandfather is truly a visionary. He said some things that really stuck with me and made me understand that there can and will eventually be peace between the countries of the Middle East and even America... When we left, he gave us all beautiful flowers from his garden :)

We also went to PETRA, which is one of the manmade wonders of the world. It's like Jordan's pyramids.

We also went for a crazy drive through the desert.. I forget what it was called but if I remember I'll edit this post.. We met authentic Bedouin people, who are famous for their hospitality, and they made us lunch in the ground. And it was delicious!

THEN - maybe one of my favorite parts of the entire trip! THE DEAD SEA one of the natural wonders of the world.

We happened upon the Dead Sea at the perfect time. We were going to go to a sandy beach with showers at the edges and pay about 20 dollars to take a shower after but we were afraid that the sun would go down before we got there. So we pulled over on the side of the road, hopped the fence, RAN down to the rocky shore stripping off all of our clothes as we went and slowly waded into the water just in time to witness the most beautiful sunset in the most sublime, serene place I probably ever will go.

While we were in Amaan, the capitol city, we saw lots of monuments:

including a colosseum built during the Roman occupation thousands of years ago:

we ate at a fair trade, organic restaurant that was AWESOME

and when we went grocery shopping we found 25cent newspapers, milk in boxes (not refrigerated) and entire baguettes for about 7 cents American.

And yes, I would definitely go back. Yes, it is safe for Americans in this Muslim, Arab country. No, Jordanians do not blindly hate Americans.

Who's To Say?

2010-04-06T23:33:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling so inspired lately.

So much so, in fact, that I can't seem to harness my inspiration at all. I feel like I'm just letting it fly out of me, little bits at a time, into any and every direction that appeals to me for just a second.

I have to say. I don't mind it one little bit. My world is becoming much more colorful!

All this inspiration is making me feel quite limitless, for better or worse.

This is leading me to consider all kinds of career paths and also to overindulge in some bad habits. But for better or worse, I've been enjoying these last couple of months. And who's to say that I shouldn't?

Jack Johnson - Upside Down. This song has been making me feel very happy, almost childlike, as of late. I suppose that's appropriate as it is from the Curious George Soundtrack.

In any case, here are some of the best lines:

Who's to say
What's impossible
Well they forgot
This world keeps spinning
And with each new day
I can feel a change in everything.....

And as my mind begins to spread its wings
There's no stoppin' curiosity

Who's to say
I can't do everything
Well I can try
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren't always just what they seem

Ethiopia!

2010-02-17T16:11:00.001-08:00

Where should I even begin? I apologize in advance for a really long and rambling post.

First, Ethiopia is the only country in Africa that was never colonized. This is a good thing because they have some of the most genuine culture in Africa - they have their own calendar, their own method of telling time, their own alphabet etc. In Ethiopia, it's the year 2002. So when you travel in Ethiopia you're seven (well now it's eight) or so years younger.

It's also a bad thing that they were never colonized because their development has been extremely slow & incremental. However, the genuine culture of this beautiful country is slowly falling by the wayside & tourism is creeping in...

When we were in the capitol city, Addis Ababa, we went to the African Union (pictured above), and the American embassy. The African Union is an amazing place that is working toward incredible changes. Because of the efforts of the African Union, the 52 member countries of Africa took a single position on an issue (climate change) two years ago and sent one representative to the climate change summit in Copenhagen this past fall.

No one place has ever made me feel so inspired & motivated ever. I felt like the walls were whispering to me: Gill, come work here. You need to be here, and we need you.

Here is some art in the African Union:

All of the billboards in Ethiopia have some sort of social message. Most were for contraceptives, but this one was my favorite:

The same day we visited a school for Autistic children - the ONLY one in the entire country & the first of its kind in Eastern Africa. This was an especially emotional experience for me because I have an Autistic cousin & I know how much my aunt relies on & appreciates special education & Autism centers like this one. The Joy Center uses holistic treatment - this is standard in the US and most western countries, but it is amazing in its own right. The owner & founder of the Joy Center had a son with Autism. JoJo was never diagnosed, but his mother researched tirelessly until she found a condition that matched his symptoms. Autism awareness was nonexistent when JoJo was born & now it's still struggling but it's becoming more known thanks to the Joy Center.

This is our Addis tour guide & friend Aklilu in front of the Joy Center:

Aklilu also took us to an HIV & AIDS clinic called WiseUp. HIV/AIDS is a huge issue in Ethiopia but it's also completely stigmatized. Generally, people only go to get tested after their partner becomes ill or dies. This clinic teaches single mothers a trade like sewing, ceramics etc. so they can earn a living for themselves.

Later, we all went to Aklilu's home, no castle, for a traditional Ethiopian dinner & a traditional coffee ceremony (Ethiopia is one of the origins of coffee). Here are the freshly roasted beans:

And here is my first sip of the stuff:

It was STRONG and strangely fruity.

One of the most notable Ethiopian foods is called Injara - a spongey bread made from Teff. Above is a picture of cows "threshing the teff" or walking on it to get the grain out of the stalk. I wasn't a huge fan of Injara, and I probably won't try it again because when we watched the threshing, we saw one of the workers catch the cows' excrement in his bare hands....

All of these pictures of Addis probably don't do it justice. It was definitely the most modernized part of Ethiopia that we saw (whatever modernization means) but we still saw a scene similar to this one in the middle of the city:

We only stayed in Addis for a few days... then it was off to the Omo River Valley to see some indigenous tribes and go camping!

On our way, we stopped because one of the cars in our caravan got lost & we had to wait for it.. we were messing around, playing games like leap frog & quickly attracted a crowd. We started taking pictures with them & they had never seen a digital picture before, but they were absolutely amazed & soon after we showed them, all they wanted to do was take pictures with us!

We stayed for a few days at the Paradise Lodge in Abra Minch & this is where we ate breakfast:

Needless to say, it was absolutely breath taking.

The first tribe we visited was my favorite - The Dorze. They are completely self sustaining & live off of one tree, the false banana tree. They make their homes from it, bread from it, baskets... everything! I learned later that they were much different from the other tribes we would visit.

They also weave products from cotton, so of course we all bought scarves:

All of the kids were fascinated with us - all they wanted were for us to pick them up & hold them. Technically they were working & it probably wasn't the best of us to be holding them all day but how can you resist?!

But the more tribes we visited the more disheartened I got.

The more kids I saw working instead of learning.

The more malnourished bellies I saw.

It only got harder. We saw people deliberately exploiting their culture to make money & this made me madder than hell. It's pure human greed at its worst. Most of these tribes are completely self sustaining - they make & grow their own food, they make & use their own medicines, they make crafts to sell & trade for whatever money they need. But yet, they dress up in clothing that is traditionally reserved for sacred holidays, they elaborately paint their faces w

ith mud every single day even though that tradition is normally only practiced on special occasions. And why do they do it? Because they charge you to take pictures with them & they know the more painted they are, the more outlandish their outfits are, the more they know you will want to take their picture. [I refused to take any pictures of the tribes, but I stole the three above from friends that went with me... is that still immoral? probably]

And it's only going to get worse. They are currently building a highway that goes directly into the Omo Valley & passes (almost intrudes upon) all of the villages we visited.

This is the highway under construction (it is still pretty charming how the road block is scattered rocks):

On a lighter note:

January 7th - Christmas in Ethiopia! We went on a boat ride & saw incredible sized crocodiles, pelicans AND I saw a hippopotamus on Christmas!!!!

On the way to, from & around the Omo Valley, I spent probably 40 hours in that vehicle with those people. In the middle, Seyoum, our amazing tour guide who is also a BAMF & my best friend. In the green is Steph, my other best friend, my roommate from last year. Next to her is Hailey & next to me is Brittney - I didn't know these girls before the trip but I am so lucky that we all ended up in the same vehicle! These two were the most sane, grounded, wonderful people on our trip & I am really missing them as I'm typing this!

Overall, Ethiopia was fascinating & wonderful & I know I'll go back someday. One of my favorite countries.

Cairo, Egypt

2010-02-11T18:53:00.001-08:00

So I lied. I slept most of the day yesterday, unintentionally. So I'll have to start reliving my adventure today. I'll start in Egypt - because that was the first country we visited. It was also the last country we visited, but I'll get to that later. This was one of my first glimpses of Cairo - after I woke up from a short nap on the bus. I quickly realized that I was not in America, or English speaking Europe. All of the shop signs were in Arabic & there were palm trees! We had an awesome tour guide named Hany, who also guided President Obama when he gave his speech to the Middle East last year. More on that later.

Our hotel was down this street. But we couldn't turn onto that street because that car you see in the picture that looks like it's driving down that street, was parked. In the middle of the road. And while it seems quite clear that only one car would fit down that road, it was not a one way. Traffic was one of the most memorable things about Cairo. It was shocking. At night, if the road is lit, drivers don't see a need to turn on their headlights. And on our way to dinner, one of our hosts Omar got into a car accident in his brand new vehicle. He didn't call the police, or get the driver's insurance info or anything & seemed surprised when we asked these questions.

Speaking of dinner... We went to a really nice restaurant called Cedars with a bunch of students from the Middle East Partnership Initiative that my professor taught. It was so amazing to sit down with these people, who are so different than us, and so similar at the same time, and talk about so many different things. Things that people would normally never discuss at dinner: religion, politics, the whole nine yards. Not only is it taboo for us to talk about these things at dinner, but for them, it's taboo to talk about these things at all. Especially politics. I felt so lucky to gain these insights that I would never have an opportunity to gain otherwise.

As far as the food went, it was as amazing as the conversation. I had Fatta Shawerma (meat, veggies & rice with Egyptian tomato sauce) and Mombar (sheep intestine stuffed with rice). It was absolutely delicious but I couldn't even eat half of it. I normally don't get appetizers because I hate wasting food, but we all had to order 40 Egyptian pounds (about $8) worth of food because it was after 10pm...

The next day we went sight seeing. We saw the tomb of President Sadat, and the place he was assassinated:
The Pyramids (yes, this was the 2nd day of our trip):
Rode camels from one side of the pyramids to the other and down to the Sphynx:
Matt's camel would not stay with the caravan & insisted on sniffing the back sides of the other camels, especially the ones who weren't in our caravan (and thus were being ridden by people we didn't know, and who did not speak English)
Our tour guide Hany told us that when President Obama visited the Sphynx, he went down and stood between its paws (not open to the public) and had a long conversation with it. I thought that was pretty interesting. He also told us that Obama walked from the Pyramids to the Sphynx, which I thought was a rough ride on a camel. Definitely some treacherous terrain. I'm impressed.
At the end of our trip, we spent a few more days in Egypt. Our first night back, Egypt won the Africa Cup of Nations (soccer tournament) in a tough game against Ghana. Cairo was insane! There were young children hanging out of cars, waving flags everywhere, pick up trucks with 30 people in the back (we even saw/heard one pick up truck that had a very loud drum set in the back along with its crowd), people with blow torches, banging pots & pans, climbing on top of statues - it was AWESOME. Here's one picture of a guy with a flag, whose friend was amazed by Americans.
All we wanted to do was get out & join the crowd but our security guard forbid us. We were on our way to the Pyramids sound & light show:

And this is the view of Cairo at night from our last hotel:
On our last day in Cairo, we went to the Egyptian museum & saw some of King Tut's caskets, a bunch of his jewelry, his famous golden face mask thing (I forget what it's called) & mummiesssssssssssss. We saw mummies of some of the most famous rulers of ancient Egypt, like Queen Hatshepsut (the only notable female pharaoh) and Ramses II. All in all, Cairo was unforgettable. But it was only one part of our journey.

Spring Semester

2010-02-09T17:55:00.000-08:00

Hello Dear Friends,

I've returned from a wonderful month of exploration, cultural discoveries, inspiration and adventures. I've returned and found myself in a snowy, uninspiring tundra - similar to the Delaware that I left behind.

Oh how I was hoping that the climate would have magically altered itself to resemble Ethiopia's while I was gone.

But Alas! It hasn't. And the snow on the ground when I got off the plane served as a prompt reminder that I need to shape up, put my big girl winter boots on (not that I have winter boots), and deal with life again.

However, this has proved to be quite uninspiring. So I think I'll recount my adventure one country at a time, through six posts... starting tomorrow.

But here's one from Thailand for those who, like me, are suffering from the winter blues

thoughts on social conditioning

2009-10-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

It feels a little strange to be writing this while i watch the first game of the world series, but oh well!

Last night I had an assignment for my marketing class to take an association quiz, which would measure how closely i associate gender to career. Going into the quiz, i knew my results would show at least some association between males & career and females & family simply because of our society - which is still not completely blind to gender. However I definitely did not expect my results to tell me that I, personally, make a strong association between gender and career.

For most of my life both of my parents had very demanding careers. Seven years ago my dad decided that his career wasn't fulfilling anymore. So my mom has been the only one that I've associated with a career for a while now. Considering this, my quiz results got me thinking about how big a role social conditioning actually plays in our lives. It amazes me how much we learn without knowing it & the associations we make even while blatantly trying to avoid making them.

Even though there were several design flaws in the quiz, the inner-feminist inside myself cringed as i considered my results. I actually felt ashamed for a little while.

But I do have to admit: as feminist as I may be (which isn't as much as people generally think), i have always wanted to be a housewife. It's one of those little contradictions i'll never quite understand. :)

WOW it's been too long

2009-10-12T22:03:00.000-07:00

sometimes i feel guilty that i only use my blog when i need it, but that's what they're for, right?

i'm feeling very overwhelmed this week & i don't even have any exams.. yikes!

I have had three marketing quizzes in a row, which seems a little overkill to me. 3 quizzes on one section? really necessary? Also in marketing, I have a group experiment/paper/presentation AND a group analysis paper all due next week. In between this week & next is what's supposed to be my fall break, & since i'm the only one of my group members who's not going home for fall break, i'm anticipating i'll get stuck with all three assignments....

sometimes i hate being a leadership major, people automatically expect you to organize every meeting, everyone's schedules etc. I am not the only person who is capable of this! and actually, it would be much easier for everyone if it was a group effort!

In other news, this is going to be a very significant year for me.

i was recently nominated to the Exemplary Leaders Circle, a group of elite students in my major who get to partake in several activities organized by our main professors & faculty. Our first adventure is to meet with the new provost of the University

i'm the president of the registered student organization associated with my major & we've had a very successful first meeting & first outing. The club's bigger than it's ever been!

I'm taking a class called "Assessing Obama's First Year," which is exciting on its own, but even more exciting because the lecture series includes David Axelrod, senior advisor to Obama, David Plouffe (Obama's former campaign manager), and Colin fucking Powell, among others..
I'll start looking for grad schools/ seriously considering the peace corps... wtf
I'll be traveling to Egypt, Ethiopia, India, Thailand & Jordan.

This is the part of my year i'm most excited about! I leave January 1st which seems ALL too close for my liking. I still need to mentally prepare for the 5 wonders of the world i'll see & the harsh realities i will encounter in these countries. Destitute poverty & children with literally no one in the world who cares if they live through the night, other children who sell their bodies for money, and a prevalence of men & women who entertain the notion (and then act on the notion) that it's okay to kidnap people in order to make money.

Not to mention, i need to physically prepare, get supplies and get packed... but i'm getting a little ahead of myself. Maybe I should just finish this paper for now...

peace & blessings, peace & blessings!

2009-05-12T21:51:00.000-07:00

Well. I've been having a rollercoaster of a month so far.

But since I'm focussing on the good these days:

I got a 94 on my Bio Exam which means I could actually get an A in that class... if i do really well on the final
I got recognized for my volunteerism at Honors Day
as well as my leadership potential. this is definitely a good thing considering that's my future!
summer starts in T-minus two weeks exactly!
i'll have my car this weekend (small victories are important too)
my grandparents came to visit - still kickin' and crackin' me up
matty's sister Kate came to visit & we had a great time
my circle of friends is quickly expanding and i'm enjoying it very much

I guess this is all for now. I should really be pushing to finish... or start my research paper, but i needed and deserved a break.

P&L

LOOSE TOOTH!

2009-04-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

I have this condition where most of my permanent teeth never developed in my gums. My doctors say it's genetic except no one in my family, as far back as we can trace, has ever had this condition [although, strangely my mom's best friend, Sue, has it].

So when everyone was raking in cash from the tooth fairy in second and third grade, I lost eight teeth. I started out with only 20 teeth as opposed to the normal 24, and I lost only 8.

To this day I still have 11 baby teeth - I had to get one of my molars pulled to make room in my mouth for orthodontic business that I don't really understand. The point of the story is that as my second decade of life is coming to a close and I merge into adulthood, I will bring with me my baby teeth.

Well, now one of those teeth is loose! When there isn't a permanent tooth breaking baby teeth's roots, apparently you can keep your babies well into your 20s, but eventually the roots become too weak to hold the tooth in place as your gums develop.

So now what? Well, here comes the part I'm not so happy about. I have to go to an oral surgeon. Not only do I have to see him, but he has to drill holes into my gums and my upper jaw. Then he'll screw a false root [implant] into my jawbone and once everything heals up [could take up to 6 months], I'll get my shiny new false teeth screwed on tight.

OH GOODNESS.

i'm going to stopl letting people walk all over me

2009-04-20T00:17:00.000-07:00

I don't understand why i continue to let people benefit from all of my hard work.

And I don't understand why i let these particular leaches keep me up until 3:30 just because they've waited until the last possible minute to study for a crucial exam. Why why why do i do this?

Celebrating!

2009-04-14T19:48:00.000-07:00

So yesterday is a close competitor for the best day of my life thus far.

It all started when a best friend gave me some news [which is incredibly relieving] & from then on I knew it was going to be a good day for both of us. I told her it was a day to celebrate & she agreed but I didn't know the extent to which my words would ring true throughout the day.

About 20 minutes after I got this life changing (for the better) news from my friend, I returned a voicemail & was offered the internship that I interviewed for over spring break. This is the one that's perfect because it's only 10 - 15 hours per week & involves the career path I'm most seriously considering right now even though I seriously don't know what I want to do with my life

About 2 hours after that I headed off to an interview for the study abroad trip I applied for called "Around the World." I was quite nervous because I want to go on this trip almost more than anything else I want for myself. As soon as I walked in the door, the professor says to me "You already have a spot on the trip, but if you don't do well in this interview you won't anymore." Well I guess I did alright because at the end she congratulated me & informed me that I would be accompanying her to Egypt, Ethiopia, Thailand, India & Jordan!

That was enough for me. Even one of those three things is the makings for a great day. But that's not even the end of it!

I also found out later in the evening that I'm receiving an award from the Leadership Department (my major) on Honors Day. Last year I got a "student of promise" award, but I don't know what it is this year...

Yesterday was a day that I felt like all of my hard work is paying off, my world is coming together. I felt accomplished & successful & i still feel that way. But today was more of a struggle. I am DEFINITELY not letting today's events get me down though. Not at all.

2009-04-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

So besides being stressed all the time, I'm starting to realize just how wonderful my life is. Hopefully, I'll start using this blog to keep track of all the things that make me happy - and not focus so much on negative things, which admittedly, I do in almost every facet of my life.

That's another one of my Spring Resolutions

Goodbye Spring Break

2009-04-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

As Spring Break is coming to a close, I have accomplished several goals I had going into it.

I kicked ass on my interview with the Delaware State Chamber of Commerce - it's just for an unpaid internship but I really just wanted more interviewing experience. Being that I don't really want an internship this summer, this unpaid 10 hour per week commitment would sort of be perfect for me. Now I just have to wait to see that I wasn't out-shined.
I spent a ton of time with my family
I caught up in almost all of my classes
I spent some well-deserved time with friends
I didn't work at all! - I haven't had a week off since PACAA and before that I hadn't had a week off since the last PACAA. I'm a work-a-holic so it was nice for me to have absolutely no commitments some days and try to force myself to relax.

It seems like I only neglected to complete two of my goals:

Tell my dad about my living situation next year - even though I did try to do this twice
Blog more

But alas, I suppose I'll have to save those two for when I go back to school. Overall, though, I'd say I had a productive, safe, successful, relaxing Spring Break & I couldn't be happier about it. I only wish it could last a little bit longer....

blah blog

2009-03-18T23:03:00.000-07:00

well i haven't updated in over two weeks now, but i guess it's because nothing of note is really happening around here.

I went to the first UD Irish Culture Club meeting last week at school. My friend met a girl who wanted to start it but didn't want to be an officer because she's a graduating senior etc. He asked me to go & support him so I did, not expecting much to come out of it. But it turns out that I met two girls there that I used to Irish step dance with! I actually danced with the friend that asked me to go with him as well, but we were both surprised to see our former classmates show up.

Then on unofficial St. Patrick's Day, my dad was on a bar crawl or loop or something & said "your friend Erin from ICC is here." I was baffled. How did they start talking? How did he know that I knew her? I don't even think I formally introduced myself to Erin when I re-met her because I was so astonished that we were crossing paths again - so how did she know who I was based on a conversation with my dad?

The whole thing was very confusing to me, so I asked my dad what the hell he was talking about and it turns out that Erin's uncle is one of my dad's best friends from grade school.. Wilmington is small... but the Irish community in Wilmington is even smaller. It will never cease to amaze me.

In other news, I've been struggling with how to tell my dad that Matt & I are living together next year. We've already signed the lease & I know I don't need his permission, given that I am a rationally thinking adult. His opinion doesn't matter at all in this situation, but if you know anything about my dad you know my task isn't an easy one.

It's really a very long & involved story but at this point I'm really struggling with anticipating how my dad will react & how to essentially tell him that his only little girl is grown up, making decisions without consulting him & living out of wedlock with a significant other. I don't do a lot of things wrong, especially not in my father's eyes (now that i'm in college i'm heaven-sent, but this wasn't always the case). But this one little deviation from the norm is making me feel like a criminal. I know deep down that my living situation for next year isn't wrong by any stretch of the imagination, but the truth is that i've been playing it pretty safe the past couple of years, doing everything I was supposed to do at the exact time i was supposed to do it.

Well there's more to the story but I'll save it for another day. This blog is too long as it is!

the cool thing to do... 101 things about me

2009-02-26T18:31:00.000-08:00

I borrowed the first few from Em & Kristen because i thought some of the things we had in common were cool!

1. I hate the way my pinky toes look.

2. My lucky number is 5.

3. I can’t wait to have kids, and I know what I want to name them.

4. I have never had stitches except for surgery.

5. I can’t remember which letters follow each other unless I say the alphabet. And I can’t say the alphabet backwards.

6. I have a lot of trouble donating blood because my veins are tiny and my iron is usually low.

7. I love surprises. It's really rare that I get surprised with something, so that makes it even more special.

8. My favorite gum is Orbit sweet mint.

9. I lived in 4 different houses during my childhood.

10. I have never liked cheese on my sandwiches. In fact, I usually prefer no condiments either. Just meat and bread.

11. I think rainbow sprinkles taste better than chocolate ones.

12. When I was in 3rd grade, we had an "MS Read.a.thon" to benefit a Multiple Sclerosis charity.

The whole school participated and they gave out 3 awards - The kid who read the most books, the kid who read the most pages,

and the kid who raised the most money. I won the award for most money raised - I got to go to a Blue Rocks game & meet their mascot & a player. I also got a t shirt which I’m wearing right now.

13. My dad wanted me to put this on my resume freshman year of college…

14. I do not download music illegally.

15. I don't believe in organized religion.

16. I have never once dyed my hair.

17. My ring size is a 7, but I usually buy 7.5 so that I can wear rings on my middle fingers too

18. I am extremely superstitious about wearing a ring on my left ring finger. I will not do it until I’m engaged. I won’t.

19. My favorite flowers are lilies & orchids. I hate roses.

20. My favorite colors are purple, green & yellow

21. My favorite cities are Boston & San Francisco

22. I collect soda can tabs to donate to Ronald McDonald House – not to get a free keg. If it were to get a free keg, I would have gotten five by now.

23. I love making PowerPoint presentations & my Presentation Strategies professor used my final presentation as an example in her class the next semester.

24. I was born on the libra/scorpio cusp, but I’m more of a libra

25. I really want to buy a splashguard for my nalgene but no one around UD sells them… LAME

26. I don’t like it when everything in my room is in its place… actually, some things don’t even have a place. Being too organized/clutterless is distracting to me.

27. My boyfriend, Matty, is OCD & I always move his tissue box & cologne to see if he’ll notice. He always does & always gets mad at me. I started moving his contact lens solution.

28. I really think I’m addicted to chocolate. i don’t remember a day recently that I haven’t eaten it…

29. I work at the computer lab at my school. I’m really good with computers & my whole family calls me with computer trouble, but I feel vastly under-qualified for that job.

30. I have twenty-two first cousins & out of all of my cousins I have the most cousins, because I’m the only only child.

31. I tried chicken salad for the first time this month (February) and it’s quickly becoming one of my favorite foods

32. In January I taught myself how to French braid

33. I recently ran out of fluid in my highlighter for the first time in my life. I’m so proud that I saved the highlighter. It’s pink

34. Next I plan on finishing a whole chap stick before I lose it

35. I hate the word soggy & everything it entails

36. I hate eye drops & will do everything I can to avoid them.

37. I’m obsessed with weddings even though I think they’re a terrible way to spend money & completely unnecessary. I’m considering being a wedding planner.

38. I’m also considering being a chef.

39. I crave grape juice sometimes

40. There are certain songs that I have to sing when they come on the radio. There’s quite a few so I won’t list them

41. If I sing in the shower, I sing the Little Mermaid

42. I have never owned anything from Abercrombie & Fitch & I’m really proud of it.

43. My favorite movie is Forrest Gump, and if I get a tattoo it will probably be a feather because of the opening & closing of this movie.

44. A lot of my friends think I resemble a koala. I agree with them

45. My favorite animals are pigs, elephants, and dolphins.

46. I know a lot of random information that is of no use to anyone.

47. I’m not a huge fan of spicy food.

48. I tried a tomato for the first time this month (February) & it was actually the same time I tried Chicken salad

49. I cannot die until I go to Thailand

50. I get my hair relaxed & I’m the only white person I know that has to do this.

51. I hate public speaking

52. I’m a liberal

53. I’m very opinionated

54. I take Cider Vinegar tablets to help my digestion

55. I met Jack Markell & the President of my University in the same day

56. I lose EVERYTHING

57. I’m a light-weight. BIG TIME

58. I’ve been to Ireland three times

59. I didn’t want to go to college when I was in high school. Now I want to go to grad school & culinary school.

60. I have “5 million” quote books.

61. My suitemate/one of my best friends, Steph, just rattled off the last eleven facts when I asked her for help

62. I’ve always wanted to own a macaw, but I hate birds

63. I hate hanging clothes.

64. I have a fish named Biggie (Christopher Wallace) Smalls.

65. I am really good at geography because my 8^th grade social studies teacher made us map the world by heart in seven days.

66. When I was in 5^th grade my English teacher made us memorize all of the prepositions in a song.

67. I love canoeing down the Brandywine River & I’ve been doing it since I was 5, almost yearly.

68. I love Dr. Pepper

69. I have a history crush on John Locke

70. I have literary crush on Ralph Waldo Emerson

71. I have a lime green umbrella

72. I locked myself in the trunk of my car once.

73. I also got stuffed in a locker once..

74. I’m extremely claustrophobic.

75. I’m afraid of fireworks. Apparently I had a bad experience when I was younger but I don’t remember it

76. I have a hot pink retainer.

77. 10 of my permanent teeth never developed in my gums. I still have 8 baby teeth (2 were pulled). I never got any reparations from the tooth fairy & I’m obviously still bitter about it.

78. My grandparents are from Ireland & they still have a bit of their accent.

79. My grandparent’s fiftieth wedding anniversary was in 2007. They’re the happiest couple I know.

80. I’ve seen both of my grand parents drunk.

81. I check post secret every day even though I know it won’t be updated until Sunday.

82. I think Sunday is the end of the week, not the beginning.

83. I don’t have a tv in my dorm room

84. I love game shows, especially Jeapordy & I would love to be a contestant.

85. I had an English teacher who proudly falsified over 150 Wikipedia articles to discourage her students from using the website as a source.

86. I write on a 10^th grade writing level. The average American writes on a 7^th grade level.

87. I never hold a mug by its handle. My mom got me a mug that has a pocket instead of a handle – it’s one of the coolest things I own

88. The front pocket of my book bag has had a tube of hand lotion, a tube of aquaphor and a squeeze pop for the entire semester.

89. I love my iPod touch.

90. I hate the color red

91. I like to wear flowers in my hair. And I have done so in san Francisco

92. I love my Mac & find it very hard to use a PC now.

93. My face wash is called Sweet Japanese Girl

94. I’m thoroughly unorganized but I love to make lists.

95. I wouldn’t have passed Econ or statistics if it weren’t for my private tutor Matty

96. I loved my intro to sociology professor so much that I picked up a soci minor & I’m taking him again this semester

97. I love moccasins & I’ve even owned an authentic pair.

98. I went to a healing mountain in Sedona AZ with my mom & we got a picture of our auras taken

99. Mine was green & I was really mad at the time, but I think it’s pretty accurate now that I’m older. My aura’s probably changed since then.

100. One of my favorite gifts I’ve ever received is a vase made out of magazines Kelsey got me for graduation

101. I wear glasses… sometimes.

5 minutes

2009-02-25T21:05:00.000-08:00

i only have five minutes to type because my roommate helen is making me do homework after this (thank goodness for helen)

but tonight i went to the interest meeting for the study abroad trip that i desperately want to go on & i'm so excited at even the possibility that i could be going to:

Egypt

Ethiopia

India

Thailand

Laos &

Jordan

The itinerary so far is looking fabulous (including 3 wonders of the world) & even the classes i would have to take are exciting & interesting to me.

I will probably do everything i can to go on this trip, leave violating any strong moral or ethical principles. But i really think i have a good chance of making this happen!

scary

2009-02-20T13:24:00.000-08:00

So right around the time i was born my mom's doctor's discovered an AVM in her brain (a knot of blood vessels).

I was a high risk pregnancy because of the AVM & my mom could have very well died during delivery. This is also the reason I'm an only child.

Luckily enough, my mom lived through my birth & was also able to undergo a cutting edge radiology treatment for her AVM.

The only catch? apparently about 20 years after receiving the treatment, most of the patients are experiencing random seizures. The doctors don't know if they should attribute it to scar tissue or just a long-term effect of the radiology.

I didn't find any of this information out until a few months after my mom's first seizure which was in July 08.

It was weird finding out that my mom's case wasn't just an isolated incident & that in fact quite a few people were experiencing just what she was.

My mom couldn't drive for quite a while & she was put on an anti-seizure medication that she'll have to take for the rest of her life. Getting the dosage right was really tricky because if she took too much she would get debilitating headaches but if she took too little she was obviously at risk of seizing.

Well yesterday my mom started showing classic symptoms of seizure while at work & the nurses she works with made her lie down & called her doctor. Apparently my mom never fully entered a seizure, but she was really shaken up about it & said that she couldn't shake the feeling.

I don't know if it means that her medicine is working because she didn't actually have a seizure, or if it means that she'll have to increase her dose & deal with all these headaches. But needless to say, this situation has gotten me a little bit scared the past day and a half.

I guess all i can do is go home & spend time with my mom & be grateful that something terrible didn't happen.

philosophy

2009-02-18T21:31:00.000-08:00

i was really excited to take philosophy 202, contemporary moral problems before the semester started.

the first day of class my professor asked the whole class whether or not we thought any culture's moral beliefs are any more or less justified than another's. I said no. That every other culture has a right to their values & beliefs (whatever they may be) just as we are entitled to believe in freedom & equality for example.

apparently i was wrong.

The next day of class, my professor asked the whole class whether or not we had a moral obligation to help the poor. I said yes, as I have been raised to always "keep the poor in my heart" as my grandfather often says.

again, apparently i was wrong.

I asked for an example of a moral obligation because if helping the poor isn't, then i really don't know what is.

Do you know what my professor said? "Anything with strong evidence."

I still don't understand how something so subjective can have evidence. And i also don't understand why i'm being taught matters of opinion as factual.

I'm completely appalled. still.

valentine's day & tomatoes

2009-02-16T22:02:00.000-08:00

So, the whole post everyday thing isn't working out... but i realized my life isn't that interesting.

Actually I've been thinking a lot about self centered people lately and how a lot of them are "popular" & a lot of "popular" people are self centered. I just can't wrap my head around someone who thinks all the world wants to hear about is him or her self.

ANYWAY..

i tried a tomato for the first time ever on friday night & i have to say... I LOVED IT

I'm still getting used to having them on a regular basis, and i still don't like a large quantity of them on any given food. But if you know how picky an eater i am, this is a very big step for me. I can't wait to have a BLT.

I also had a spectacular valentine's day. Matty really went above & beyond to make it special. He gave me yellow roses which matched the hand-painted Gaudi inspired vase he brought for me from Barcelona. The roses came with this little pill-bottle shaped water container at the end of them that baffled me... florists are really making a lot of progress lately.

I stayed in bed until 7:30 pm. This is one of my favorite things to do. When I have absolutely no obligations on a wekend day (which rarely happens) i love to stay in bed, under the covers ALLLL day!

Then we went to dinner at Brasserie in the Hilton at Christiana. The food was incredible (i had shrimp scampi) but the service was absolutely terrible.

When we got back, Matty had all the supplies to make our own chocolate covered strawberries & he even brought Champagne back from Paris which we definitely enjoyed our fair share of! We spent the rest of the night nibbling on our delicious strawberries & watching the first episodes of Arrested Development.

I have to say, I think I have the best boyfriend in human history thus far.

untitled

2009-02-10T20:48:00.000-08:00

So I'm feeling much more independent lately.
I used to have all my classes with three of my best friends at school because we are all Leadership majors & all get along & study really well together.
Last semester almost all of us either declared a minor or decided to try to double major, so we all have new requirements to fulfill & they're all different. I never really knew what it was like to have a class without a friend in it. Actually, I still don't because my first is tomorrow. But just the thought is making me feel a mixture of emotions. I'm nervous, and excited, & I feel like I've been faced with a challenge almost.
This isn't the only way I'm exercising my independence.. Our click is also breaking up when it comes to housing next year. I'm not as nervous about that situation because I know all the people I'll be living with & they're all kick ass. But I gotta say, it also feels nice and comfortable in our click. Even if the monotony gets to me sometimes.... okay, most of the time.

I guess it's a grass is always greener situation.

First Day Back

2009-02-09T17:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I had my first day back at school today.

I only had one class because, technically, classes didn't start until 4 today.

So I went to my 5-8 and we got out an hour early, because honestly, who prepares three hours of material for the first class? My professor, who insists we call him by his first name, Richie, seems fair (somewhat strict) and fun. His grading scale is a 6 point scale, which sucks, but hopefully it won't be a terribly challenging class: Leadership 311 Topics in Consumer Relations.

Before class though, I had a refreshing trip to the hardware store & main street with an old friend. I always have fun when I hang out with him, even if we just kick it in the dorm.

The day was uneventful other than that. But I'm trying to update every day now that I'm back in school because it provides a nice break from the monotony & Kristen gave me a piece of sound advice regarding the frequency with which I write :)

LLL

2009-02-02T16:31:00.000-08:00

So this past weekend was my favorite rally ever...

I don't know if it was just a nice breath of fresh air, or if i'm more happy with my place in Leaders, or if i'm more happy with my inter-leader relationships, or if i'm just more happy with myself.

but it was incredible.

i needed it, that's for sure

i went to breakfast at the smith's new(ish) house & it was amazing!

the food

the place

the people

everything was wonderful

then on my way out i got stuck in the mud & felt like an idiot, & went to best buy to buy a memory card reader for my camera/computer so i can upload pictures again!

then i slept for 17 hours.

yesterday & today were such nice, mild days! i can feel spring coming and i couldn't be happier about it!

just goes to show the power of teen leaders :)

It's a Strange Beginning...

2009-01-27T18:42:00.000-08:00

...but a beginning none the less.

i've missed blogging over the past couple years since i gave up my livejournal! And today i was really in the mood to do something new to curb my incessant boredom that seems to be stalking me these past couple months. i've wanted a place to write down daily events and try to see what changes me. i've changed so much in the past year and i can't attribute it to anything... plus, today was the perfect day to start a blog again because so many crazy crazy things happened.

one very good friend told me she was arrested last night. i'm assuming she's okay because she was able to text me. but i don't know what lasting effects there will be.

another very good friend told me her grandmother died, and was resuscitated, but still might not be okay.

my mom's friend at work found out she has cancer

another of my mom's friends at work found out that the chemo she's been undergoing isn't doing the trick this time around and has to resort to a much harsher, much more damdging form of treatment.

my favorite boss' father died suddenly, in his sleep

my mom might be on tv

my relationship with the universe is growing stronger & stronger

today i did not want to work out after working an 8 hour shift but my mom literally drags me & i have no choice in the matter. or so i thought. today i willed it. Before we got to the gym, i realized i didn't have a hair tie - 1 reason not to work out. when we got to the gym, my mom realized she didn't have her membership card - 2 reasons not to work out. when we got dressed and start exercising, not 5 minutes passed before we start smelling burning rubber. like a chain reaction, we turned off our machines and started looking around to find everyone else in our row of treadmills doing exactly the same thing. we found an employee. they said we were too hott for the machines. then we saw SMOKE billowing out of the vents & one by one people stopped working out & flooded out of the building. we led the droves, and thus i did not have to work out today :)